"My opponent left a glass of whisky 'en prise' and I took it 'en passant". - Henry Blackburne | SINCE 2007

Friday, June 29, 2007

OBUTU vs MALOBA: CHESS KENYA WORST NIGHTMARE

If you were told to choose between a 20 year old rising star of chess and a 30 year old veteran who cant improve, who would you choose? the answer seems obvious but chess kenya has taken a complex position that has raised fevers across the chess circles here is how it has been so far

PAUL MALOBA KICKED OFF THE STORM BY POSTING THIS ON KENYAN CHESS FORUMS:
is there anything that can be done here??


*Preamble*

This decision was reached by the executive of Chess Kenya after Kenya sports
council only allotted 5 slots to chess instead of the earlier anticipated
number which was to include; men's team (6 – Ben Magana, Ben Nguku, Akello
Atwoli, Wycliffe Obutu, Steve Ouma and Martin Gateri), women's team, two
coaches (Atwoli Lukoye – Men and Isaac Babu- Women) and a team manager
(Lawrence Kagambi). The teams were selected after a round robin tournament
late last year

The cut number saw a reduced number of both officials and team to 5; Ben
Magana, Ben Nguku, Steve Ouma, Akello Atwoli and Lawrence Kagambi- official.

The criterion that was used to select the team of four was based on, in
order;

1. Order of qualification
2. Medal prospects
3. Attendance
4. Discipline and commitment to team

The final line up of the team was selected with Obutu and Gateri being left
out.

*The Questions*

I am basically questioning, limiting the comparison to Obutu and Ouma. I
have raised some of these questions with the team elect (including Steve
Ouma in a long phone conversation), Larry Kagambi (in along phone
conversation, unfortunately severally my efforts to meet him and further
discuss this bore no fruit – I'm to wait for two more weeks to meet him.
That is what lead me to do this mail), and several chess players.

1. *Appropriateness of the criterion*

A good friend of mine told me that *'we are unable to see the forest because
of the trees', *we lose focus of the big picture because of technicalities.
Processes are there to support the objective and should never supercede it.
Good performance and future of chess in my opinion should've been the
objective.

The four point criteria was quite innovative of Chess Kenya, when a decision
had to be made and I acknowledge that

a. Order of qualification

This being listed as the first criteria I presumed it carried more weight
(in my opinion, justifiably so). the order of qualification is as their name
appears in the first paragraph above

b. Medal prospects

Shock unto you, Steve scored highly than Obutu on this, because he has more
international exposure. Anyone who has been following recent tournament
results would bet that Obutu plays superior chess than Steve (It can be
proved further by playoffs) plus this is an upcoming player a learning curve
chances are that his tomorrow's chess will be better than his today's. How I
see it is that (for medal prospects) if your chess strengths are equal then
the alternative of 'international exposure' can be looked at. Debutants,
Nguku and Wachania registered impressive performances in their first outings
if this is anything to go by.

c. Attendance

This was attendance to training sessions, Here Steve scored the highest
13/13! and this must have greatly tilted the weight to his favor. Obutu had
8/13. Attendance was vital since KNSC (Kenya National Sports Council) could
do an impromptu visit to check on the player's seriousness in practice to
determine their chances of retaining their slot in teams to Algeria.

Unfortunately players used to show up to play blitz. The coach made a
program that was to start with a rapid round robin tournament, this
happened, but there after players used to just show up to sign in, its
apparent that at times Obutu could show up and end up reading his class
work, further more UoN students had exams and CATs coming up thus they had
limited time.

THERE WAS NO TRAINING TAKING PLACE. CK had frequent meetings with the player
emphasizing on the importance of attendance and warning/threatening that
this could jeopardize their future (in my opinion this is why CK wants to
show their iron fist, for being ignored after repeated warnings). Well it
almost appears that CK have a case here but look at it this way, CK take
time to hold meetings and discuss the importance of attendance but are not
taking steps to ensure activity during these sessions, infact the players
were complaining that its becoming more and more senseless. Considering the
neglect on CK to their duty, they should have exempted players from these
criteria. You do not warn against doing a wrong while your self you do
wrongs with impunity and expect utter obedience.

d. Discipline and commitment to team

Here Steve outdid Obutu, more or less due to the attendance, and perhaps
because of some antagonistic characteristics and utterances that the
upcoming players (Obutu and Atwoli) have been showing.

Well considering their level of maturity some of this is expected, the mode
of punishment has to be weighed. You don't use a shot gun on your
indisciplined son. More so the approach CK was taking in tackling issues
left a lot to be desired, even to the older players. Use of threats is not
so apt while leading/dealing people/team.

1. *Discontent in chess fraternity.*

Interestingly enough all the chess players I have talked to so far (with the
exception of Mr. Kagambi and Mr.Ouma) feel the same, this includes the
current elected team members! Who were also very bitter about this

*Why isn't any one saying anything?* Well, while replying to this mail, you
will be saying something (your honest opinion, you don't have to share my
sentiments).

For the future of chess most players saw it fit not to air our dirty linen
in public lest chess loses an opportunity of all African games
representation.

The elect team (excluding Steve) see the unity of the team as key to
performance (they are eyeing for medals) and wouldn't want to raise any
antagonism which could leave Steve feeling unwanted (I must apologize to the
team, for this mail goes against their wishes. But I feel that laying low on
this would be a bigger crime) this came out after I suggested to them that
if they strongly feel the decision was wrong as they are saying, why not act
and write a letter to Chess Kenya expressing the same? One of the players
told me that CK stated that if the men's team wasn't up to it, then they
could replace it with the women's team – perhaps CK can clarify this
(threats).

If Chess was to be a democracy, this decision would definitely be thrown out
the window, but with the status quo, unfortunate conclusions are being drawn
(some of which may be inaccurate) e.g. Chess Kenya is a one man show,
dictatorship, favoritism, personal interest, corrupt, sleeping… (I beg to
clarify that am neither insinuating nor accusing, much as this comments have
been mentioned in my presence, I don't intend to digress from the issues am
raising, like I said before I don't entirely agree with all of them) my
point is that ivory towers and iron fists explains why some members jump to
conclusion. While managing people, if some fundamental requirements aren't
met then such behaviour is inevitable.

*Points trying to explain this decision for instance include;*

· * 'perhaps you need to look at it from chess Kenya's side and
you'll see it makes sense'* as Steve mentioned to me: I have been trying a
lot to do this but from what I have gathered so far over the phone it still
doesn't add up, setting up a meeting wasn't fruitful either.

· '*The criteria'* as CK indicate in their letter to Obutu. In my
opinion this still favors Obutu over steve, otherwise perhaps they could
have agreed of the criteria with the team (since it was a novelty-
consultation seems apt) and ensure its just before executing it.

· '*Where is the justice in throwing out the man who has been there
for the team? – Steve had a 100% attendance*' as Steve mentioned to me. I
must confess that this is the point I started seeing it a bit differently
and noting that perhaps CK didn't just act for favoritism's sake, that maybe
they had an argument… but for the sake of seeing the '*forest*' this stint
dint last for long. Steve did great, unfortunately the slots for chess were
cut down to five, the proper criteria 'the forest' - Good performance and
future of chess, leaves him out. If the disciplinary case against Obutu
would have been major then e.g. fight (disrespectful heated argument) with
CK, absconding training/showups in total or misbehavior in camp then his
exclusion would have been warranted.

· '*Don't say I didn't warn you*…' this is (my opinion) what makes
sense to me, otherwise, favoritism. But like I said, the slap is not
warranted, the punishment does not commensurate the indiscipline, CK's
neglect in training schedule wasn't a morale booster as such.

· '*Obutu is young and still has future chances'* as Obutu's regret
letter after his appeal read, in fact it acknowledged the fact that he is an
upcoming player. This is absurd.

1. *what the future holds*

In a recent tournament 'Uganda Open' in Kampala, more than 60% of
participants were young upcoming competitors from primary, high school and
colleges, it was magnificent, on this, Kenya has a lot to work on to attain.

Again in a recent interuniversity sports tournament of East Africa in Uganda,
University of Nairobi (Ben Nguku, Obutu, Atwoli and George Mwangi) took the
title. This tells you that despite our poor development of young chess we
have a crop of young, strong chess players (it in fact they made 50% of the
Kenya team). My question to CK is, are we reading from the same scripts?
It's a rather an unfortunate reward for work well done.

1. *Conflict of interest*

It happens to be that Steve is a member of CK executive committee (but Larry
assured me that he didn't sit in the meeting that deliberated on this
decision), eye brows get raised when a contentious decision which raises so
many questions involves/favors one of the executive members.

*Conclusion – walk the talk*

CK has the authority to make decisions (whether good or bad) we mandated
them to do so, but when injustices of such magnitude happen (especially to
those who lack tact of stand for them selves), how do we address them?

GEORGE HINGA REPLIED:


Tx to Maloba, Larry, Mehul and Isoe for contributing. This is my take.

I cant voice better the fact that Obutu IS MUCH MUCH STRONGER THAN THE OTHER
PATZER (OUMA). The CK decision is full of mischief and warrants severe
remosntaration. The fact that Ouma is one of the CK officials and a party to
this decision is SHAMEFUL.

On the note of other chess players opting not to go in protest, I dont blame
them for not striking, they have everything to lose, but atleast they should
come out and voice their dicsontent.

Good riddance to this MOBUTU-LIKE CK regime! am sure without a different
crop of people in office we should not be surprised if this were to recur.
You cant expect a blind man to play golf its just like steve winning a
tourney. Sorry STEVE but ur weak, very weak!

When it comes to the Chairman, Mr ??, What is your vision of chess in
Kenya??? Might u understand en-passant?? This has to be the biggest
Ghost-Worker!! You are Killing Chess!! What happened to all the big
tournaments? Why frustrate Neils and other sponsors from organising
tourneys?

To Larry, VERY VERY WEAK! Your high-handedness and aloofness needs to be
checked. Do a thorough assessment of your actions!! (and chess too)

To Obutu, keep on don't despair, these clowns can't stop you from being a
great chess player.

To our Chess team, albeit blighted, best of luck, ask them, "How Many are
You?

Am out

G

PS: please contribute your thoughts on this and AOB coz as Malobs said,
"silence is the bigger sin".

NATHAN ATEKA CONTINUED:

The mail from Maloba makes for very sad reading
indeed. I just can’t believe it. Honestly I can’t.
Even Champ in his hey day was more reasonable. So
these are my views.

1. Obutu
For starters chess in Kenya is full of frustrations. I
hope this will make you stronger. One day you will get
ur chance. Just ask one Wachaina. If it is any
consolation, & if CK will accepts my criteria, I would
like to offer you my chance to go to the Commonwealth
Champs in south Africa later this yr. We need more
guys with talent & exposure. It is only in Kenya where
we develop talent at 30 yrs & neglect a 20 yr old
leading junior.

2. Criteria
Since Steve is a CK executive member, this whole
criteria is fake. You see once they decide to help
their own, no one can stop them. Supposing Obutu
attended 13/13 sessions, then criteria e & f below
could have been invoked

Criterion e – Obutu is not a member of CK & if he is
criteria f applies
Criterion f – Obutu is banned indefinitely

So in actual sense, Obutu made it easy for them since
his attendance was wanting. If chess is about
attendances, then why hold qualifiers. Will the
opponents in Algiers respect attendances or strength.

3. Team members
I have been accused of acting on impulse before, but
my view is that I wouldn’t be in the same team with
Steve under such circumstances. Why do you guys
complain on the backs of CK officials? You should be
principled. If you feel Obutu has been unfairly
treated, then what are you still doing on the team? I
would resign my team position immediately. Just
remember that next you will be 4th & Steve 5th & as
they say, the rest is history. Shame on you 3 guys.
You don’t have the stomach to stand up for a 20 yr old
victim.

4. Precedence
In all cases we have had to select teams, the
procedure has been the order of qualification. So when
they say 4 players it is obvious that player no.5
(Steve) gets the chop. This system has stood the test
of time. So when the ‘choppee’ is a CK official the
rule changes and criteria apply. Why was the criteria
not applied when Ommolo and Kanegeni asked for wild
cards into the round robins. From CK’s view, I think
Steve is a better medal prospect than Ommolo and
Kanegeni!!!

5. Steve and gang members
You are a good guy but this CK thing is spoiling your
standing in society. I think you should do the
honourable thing resign. As you hand in yr letter pl
convince your fellow officials to follow suit. You
guys have no credibility at all. Shame on you and stop
using the phrase “hako ka-obutu tumekafork” in your
phone calls.

6.Conflict of Interest
For the sake of everyone I would like to propose that
the following statement be inserted in our tona
by-laws:

“All CK officials are not eligible to participate in
serious tournaments”

Let me explain:
For most of our tonas, Larry is the tournament
director cum chief arbiter. Now supposing weak Singe
(CK Vice Chairman) has a dispute over the board with
strong Ateka. Do you really believe that the chief
arbiter, Larry, will rule anything in my favour &
penalize his vice chairman? And if the tona is an
Olympiad qualifier, it would be worsecoz Larry would
need Singe’s vote to keep the perennial Team Manager’s
position. I am poor in English but I think it is
called horse trading. If they had not installed Steve
then he would have threatened to vie for the Team
Manager’s position. This threat was so strong that
Obutu had to be traded.

6. Team Manager’s Position
To be fair to all, I believe the best scenario would
have been
Magana
Nguku
Atwoli
Obutu
Steve – Player cum Team Manager

When slots are less, why do we need a non- playing
Manager. I think this calls for a new discussion:

“Do we select a non- playing Team Manager over our
most promising junior player? Discuss”

In almost 10 last overseas events, Larry is always the
team manager. I would like to know, why him? Why not
Johnny, our most experienced Olympian? Other sports
like football, Rugby etc have professional Team
Managers who are not officials. Let’s set up a panel &
interview candidates for the vacant post of Team
Manager. This will stop the horse trading.

7. National Coach
This is a very vital position which would have solved
the attendance issue. Since Obutu is a student, the
coach would have drafted a training programme for his
spare time and they would meet weekly to review his
performance.

And now a question:
Supposing an upcountry player – say Strong Jaoko of
Nakuru- was in the team.
a) How would he attend the training sessions? With
2/13 attendances would he stand any chance.
b) Is it now a rule that all upcountry players/
students are ineligible to the national team coz they
cant attend daily training sessions.
c) Does CK appreciate the fact that apart from a few
officials no one is a chess professional? As such,
getting time for daily chess practice is a problem to
some.

These were my humble views. No malice intended.
Advance apologies to anyone who feels victimized.
Plain truth could move us forward.

LARRY KHADULIS VIEWS:

hi aketa! THANX FOR MAKING MY MORNING,
your mail just exponentiated your elo in my respectability list. OBUTU pse take up the strong guy on his offer to give up his slot for the commonwealth games, just to reflect on how low steve and gang are sinking kenyan chess, should we maybe expect another criteria that maybe allows CK to select DENNIS OLIECH for the commonwealth games because he has more international exposure??
your proposal that steve travels as a playing team manager actally works coz steve is a CK executiove member and a weak player but we all know this is nothing about chess and medals rather cronyism and a trip abroad,,%$#k chess ,larry did not play any qualifying tourney as such the "criteria" cannot touch him .
the senior team members have been reduced to a few murmurs behind the backs of the criteria team, as githinji put it this is very personal for you guys and you are probably saying thank GOD i survived the criteria, just for a minute think of the great injustice to KENYAN chess and to OBUTU. your displeasure should not be registered away from CK neither should you shy away from letting your weak teammate the "criterion" know your true feelings ,you all qualify on strenght alone ,not you steve!
but how many are you! ama unampenda nani?

nathan ateka wrote:

The mail from Maloba makes for very sad reading
indeed. I just can’t believe it. Honestly I can’t.
Even Champ in his hey day was more reasonable. So
these are my views.

1. Obutu
For starters chess in Kenya is full of frustrations. I
hope this will make you stronger. One day you will get
ur chance. Just ask one Wachaina. If it is any
consolation, & if CK will accepts my criteria, I would
like to offer you my chance to go to the Commonwealth
Champs in south Africa later this yr. We need more
guys with talent & exposure. It is only in Kenya where
we develop talent at 30 yrs & neglect a 20 yr old
leading junior.

2. Criteria
Since Steve is a CK executive member, this whole
criteria is fake. You see once they decide to help
their own, no one can stop them. Supposing Obutu
attended 13/13 sessions, then criteria e & f below
could have been invoked

Criterion e – Obutu is not a member of CK & if he is
criteria f applies
Criterion f – Obutu is banned indefinitely

So in actual sense, Obutu made it easy for them since
his attendance was wanting. If chess is about
attendances, then why hold qualifiers. Will the
opponents in Algiers respect attendances or strength.

3. Team members
I have been accused of acting on impulse before, but
my view is that I wouldn’t be in the same team with
Steve under such circumstances. Why do you guys
complain on the backs of CK officials? You should be
principled. If you feel Obutu has been unfairly
treated, then what are you still doing on the team? I
would resign my team position immediately. Just
remember that next you will be 4th & Steve 5th & as
they say, the rest is history. Shame on you 3 guys.
You don’t have the stomach to stand up for a 20 yr old
victim.

4. Precedence
In all cases we have had to select teams, the
procedure has been the order of qualification. So when
they say 4 players it is obvious that player no.5
(Steve) gets the chop. This system has stood the test
of time. So when the ‘choppee’ is a CK official the
rule changes and criteria apply. Why was the criteria
not applied when Ommolo and Kanegeni asked for wild
cards into the round robins. From CK’s view, I think
Steve is a better medal prospect than Ommolo and
Kanegeni!!!

5. Steve and gang members
You are a good guy but this CK thing is spoiling your
standing in society. I think you should do the
honourable thing resign. As you hand in yr letter pl
convince your fellow officials to follow suit. You
guys have no credibility at all. Shame on you and stop
using the phrase “hako ka-obutu tumekafork” in your
phone calls.

6.Conflict of Interest
For the sake of everyone I would like to propose that
the following statement be inserted in our tona
by-laws:

“All CK officials are not eligible to participate in
serious tournaments”

Let me explain:
For most of our tonas, Larry is the tournament
director cum chief arbiter. Now supposing weak Singe
(CK Vice Chairman) has a dispute over the board with
strong Ateka. Do you really believe that the chief
arbiter, Larry, will rule anything in my favour &
penalize his vice chairman? And if the tona is an
Olympiad qualifier, it would be worsecoz Larry would
need Singe’s vote to keep the perennial Team Manager’s
position. I am poor in English but I think it is
called horse trading. If they had not installed Steve
then he would have threatened to vie for the Team
Manager’s position. This threat was so strong that
Obutu had to be traded.

6. Team Manager’s Position
To be fair to all, I believe the best scenario would
have been
Magana
Nguku
Atwoli
Obutu
Steve – Player cum Team Manager

When slots are less, why do we need a non- playing
Manager. I think this calls for a new discussion:

“Do we select a non- playing Team Manager over our
most promising junior player? Discuss”

In almost 10 last overseas events, Larry is always the
team manager. I would like to know, why him? Why not
Johnny, our most experienced Olympian? Other sports
like football, Rugby etc have professional Team
Managers who are not officials. Let’s set up a panel &
interview candidates for the vacant post of Team
Manager. This will stop the horse trading.

7. National Coach
This is a very vital position which would have solved
the attendance issue. Since Obutu is a student, the
coach would have drafted a training programme for his
spare time and they would meet weekly to review his
performance.

And now a question:
Supposing an upcountry player – say Strong Jaoko of
Nakuru- was in the team.
a) How would he attend the training sessions? With
2/13 attendances would he stand any chance.
b) Is it now a rule that all upcountry players/
students are ineligible to the national team coz they
cant attend daily training sessions.
c) Does CK appreciate the fact that apart from a few
officials no one is a chess professional? As such,
getting time for daily chess practice is a problem to
some.

SINGE,S DAMAGE LIMITING STATMENT:
From: Singe Gong [mailto:philipsi...@yahoo.com]
Sent: 14 June 2007 16:37
To: Andolo Ambasi
Subject: All African Games Team selection !!

Hallo Chess friends

The situation on the All African games Chess Squad is that only five slots have been allocated, for me if Chess Kenya wants to do the right thing all the five slots should be given to players, in this case our stronger team i.e the men’s team –in the Abuja games the then Chairman Mr Lincoln Njega was said to have been offered 5 slots which he rejected for reasons only he knows, later we debated and agreed all slots should have been given to players---this time Chess Kenya must strive to come up with a solution that is acceptable by all.

In My opinion we should consider the qualification Order….and where the future of Kenyan Chess lies…. so the younger players like Obutu ,Nguku,Akello Atwoli should be at the forefront and for Experince and guidance We have Ben Magana Kenya Champ and also Currently the strongest player in Kenya –Ben’s international record and strength is undisputed….and finally the fifth Slot …..Chess Kenya can decide, if an official must travel …then the assistant Secretary Steve Ouma who also qualified for the all Africa games Squad can travel so he doubles as head of Delegation and player.

My reasoning is that if only 4 players are sent to the all African games with no reserve then our medal prospects are non-existent…..because the four players would have to play all rounds therefore there will be no room for strategy and since medals are obtained by percentages in the final rounds it will be impossible to rest a player or players who have already attained the necessary points to win a medal.

With this I hope Chess Kenya will make a decision that we can all live with.

(in the case of Obutu we have to consider that he is a student and has to attend classes and at the same time play Chess …..So eliminating him because he is unable to attend some training sessions is wrong and very sad… for me players like Obutu represent the future of Kenyan Chess)

I did not send it to many people cause i tried a few and they seemed disinterested

Should we have non-playing team manager in a limited team like this? – Ateka
A. it’s impossible to have a non playing manager this is a team event and here is where you can easily win a medal by choosing your opponents but with 4- players playing all rounds there is inevitably fatigue and the complete absence of strategy.

Conflict of interest - should CK officials participate in tournaments? – Ateka
Unfortunately for me yes …reasons

Our membership is very small and we have almost no volunteers, they way the have in Europe. We need people who are always together like a Family; so many have been complaining about the Chairman being out of touch with the Chess world are this the kind officials we want cause for me if you don’t take time and play Chess how do you develop interest how do you know what makes the game tick?
The ideal solutions for arbitration cases which brought this issue, is to have the chief Arbiter who is not a CK official we can always have a panel of top players to back him up.

Bolstering checkmates, as way forward – Khaduli
Having Checkmates is a very good idea; the biggest reason why Kenyan Chess is in such a weak state is the absence of Clubs both in Nairobi and upcountry, many Cubs have died eg Kisumu
My friend Sokwalla gave up after some greedy Chess official slapped him with the tournament by laws which I think need modification.

Are we legible to vote in the next AGM – Maloba
But Of course
Chess Kenya has violated the constitution severally by not sending the Member list to members in addition the constitution says that six months before elections/AGM the membership list must be distributed to all members/clubs for vetting. The League is Dead where will Clubs come from.
For me those present during the AGM will set the tone and the rules for the AGM.
For the record former chairman Clement Miheso once tried to use that trick at the AGM telling us that we are not members so we have no say,
But he was asked whose fault it was that there were no Members Unfortunately for him the masses won the day.

Is it true that the chairman has been included in the team to Algiers? – Muge
It could be I read his name in the Daily Nation he was part of the contingent at least on paper.
I however later inquired from Ben Magana and he told me he was seeking assistance from Organizers.
These were my humble views. No malice intended.
Advance apologies to anyone who feels victimized.
Plain truth could move us forward.

Monday, June 4, 2007

CHESS JOKES

Chess is not a funny game. But this has not prevented some comedians from poking fun in this noble game.

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "And what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."


A Chess Player is walking from the lake carrying two fish in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The Chess player says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish; they are my pets's pawn. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these fish jump out and I take around to see the sights only to return them at the end of the day; remember that the Chess Board is like an ocean; full of fish". The warden, does not play chess, he not had any idea what he's taking about; not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The Chess Player turns to the warden and says,
"CHECK" "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the fish back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will come out of the water." The Chess Player turns to the warden and says, "What fish!?"


In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say:
"What a clever dog!"
But the man protests:
"No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"


Frasier: I can see why she likes the game - "the king is stationary, the queen has all the power".


"So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov - Problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass the salt!"


Q. Which chess piece is the most powerful?
A. The Knight, It goes over the top.


2 friends see themselves by the street and one of them says:
- My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, it will take my children and it will leave me.
The other friend asks to him:
- And what you will do?
And the other answers to him:
- E4, how always!


Q - Which group of women are the best chess players?
A - Feminists. Their opponents begin with King and Queen, but *they* always start with 2 Queens.


Three retired International chess grandmasters were playing chess in the park.
The first grandmaster said, "it is windy today."
The second grandmaster said, "no, it is Thursday today".
The third grandmaster said, "me too, let's go back inside for a drink"


The young apprentice went to his master and asked him:
"Which is the best game man made?".
The old master though a little bit and said
"It's chess I guess, no?".
"What about go?" came the next question instantly.
"Aah, go was already here!"


A gentleman must play a game of chess with a blind person, he proposes to the blind person:
"As him cannot see he will grant an advantage to him as part of the deal. We will not play in equality of conditions."
"This sound really fair" replied the Blind Person.
Then he asks the gentleman: "When?"
"Very well", the other men responded to him "any night that you prefer."

FAMOUS CHESS QUOTES

Ten famous chess quotes.

Over time many chess players, commentators, writers, kibziters, grandmasters and grandpazters have made famous quotes. Here is my selection of my best 10. you can ignore number 11.

1. "If drink is the curse of the working classes and work is the curse of the drinking classes then chess is the curse of the thinking classes”
>> J. Ross

2. "The delight in gambits is a sign of chess youth... In very much the same way as the young man, on reaching his manhood years, lays aside the Indian stories and stories of adventure, and turns to the psychological novel, we with maturing experience leave off gambit playing and become interested in the less vivacious but withal more forceful manoeuvres of the position player."
>> Emanuel LASKER

3. "Pawns are born free, yet are everywhere in chains..."
>> rkennedy@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Rick Kennedy)

4. "Modern chess is too much concerned with things like pawn structure. Forget it - checkmate ends the game"
>> Nigel SHORT

5. "A chess game is divided into three stages: the first, when you hope you have the advantage, the second when you believe you have an advantage and the third... when you know you're going to lose!"
>> Savielly Tartakower

6. "Whereas the tactician knows what to do when there is something to do, it requires the strategian to know what to do when there is nothing to do"
>> Gerald ABRAHAMS (this seems to be fairly free translation of one of TARTAKOVER's aphorisms).

7. "During a chess competition a chessmaster should be a combination of a beast of prey and a monk."
>> Alexander ALEKHINE

8. "Before the endgame, the Gods have placed the middle game.”
>> Siegbert TARRASCH

9. " Reti studies mathematics although he is not a dry mathematician; represents Vienna without being Viennese; was born in old Hungary yet he does not know Hungarian; speaks uncommonly rapidly only in order to act all the more maturely and deliberately; and will become the best chessplayer without, however, becoming world champion. "
>> TARTAKOVER, Hypermodern Chess

10. Here are some of the questions and answers to an examination paper in chess that was given some time ago by Dr. TARRASCH. (...)

"Q: What is the object of playing a gambit opening?
A: To acquire a reputation of being a dashing player at the cost of losing a game.
Q: Account briefly for the popularity of the Queen Pawn Opening in matches of a serious nature.
A: Laziness.
Q: What is the duty of an umpire where a player wilfully upsets the board?
A: Remove the bottle.
Q: What exceptional circumstances will justify the stopping of clocks during a tournament game?
A: Strangling a photographer. "
>> Chess Review, 1935.

11. The fear of the pawn is the beginning of wisdom
>> Yours truly, 2007

CHESS TERMS

Do you know these chess terminologies?

Chess terminology has borrowed heavily from many languages from Arabic to Indian and german. Here are a few mind swinging terms.

amaurosis scachistica:
Chess blindness (oversight), described ironically as a disease by Dr. Tarrasch. There is a superb example from Krogius in the Errors section of the Canon.
Intermezzo:
See Zwischenzug
Kibitz:
To offer advice as a spectator - a dangerous pastime
Phalanx:
A triangle of pawns e.g. b3-c4-d5-e4-f3 in the KID
Prophylaxis:
Prevention. Nimzovitch talked about this rather as an end in itself, which is misleading.
tabiya:
(Arabic) Originally one of the conventional starting formations for play, now used to describe key positions arising from the opening.
Trebuchet:
A common Zugzwang position
Zeitnot:
(German) time trouble
Zwischenzug:
(German) literally, in-between move. When, for example, a re-capture is delayed for a move to make a capture, check or threat elsewhere